When Focus Fractures
Comparison, external input and pressure override inner signal and my attention is splintered. From 'If She Can I Can'
My attention has always been scattered. You know the feeling.
Seemingly incapable of being present.
In fact pretty much disassociated and pre-occupied by the next thing or someone else’s opinion, what happened yesterday or what could happen tomorrow.
Trapped in an illusion of my own making.
Doing one thing at a time has felt almost impossible for most of my life as I believed the multi tasking aficionado’s - this was a short cut for efficiency, of course I am capable of doing several things at once, I’ve got this! This is what we are supposed to do, to keep the wheel turning, yes?
Being busy made me feel important, I am doing lots of things, so I must be making a difference. I was actually mimicking leaders who look capable but feel internally chaotic and emotionally void. Attention drained.
This is written for the sovereign thinkers like me, those who say they want freedom but keep leaking focus. It’s a blind spot. We all have them.
We need each other to call it out.
I would rarely see myself finishing a task - yet starting many.
My life was a series of unfinished business, and half hearted attempts that kept me in a state of mediocracy inside. That was frustrating and I resented life and the people for getting in the way so much.
We are in an age where external stimulus is at an all time high. Decision fatigue is real, and it’s not a time problem. It is a signal problem. When you do not trust your own inner signal, you outsource it.
We have so much information available to us that we are in overload. Quick convenient hits, entertainment, the ‘bread and circus’ of a society designed to keep us busy, keep us working hard to pay the rent.
Society is divided, ‘them’ and ‘us’ in various different coloured outfits and masks.
We are governed, shaped and groomed by authority figures every day of our lives and most of mainstream society is either in denial or ignorance. We don’t realise that we do actually have agency over the kind of life we create, but we have to break the cycle of old belief in order to actually see it, feel it, and make the change.
That takes effort, a lot of consistent effort. Effort takes resilience - and how do we build that? Through effort. And so we continue to wait, plan and prepare.
Here I’m not talking about the amount of effort you’re putting into your career, home, kids, family, every day life - of course you are.
But the deep, inner toil of coming back to owning yourself, your choices. Moving forward on things that really matter instead of being pissed off that they’re not happening.
If circumstance has a grip on you that you don’t like - could you take a single courageous step towards an alternative? Even if it seems ridiculous, yet it calls you in a way that is curious? Let’s say it could be a universal nudge or divine spark - these are the nudges to follow after all. We don’t need the full script. We are never going to be ready.
You and I know we are more than this, destined to disrupt the past patterns that look like self sabotage, and shape the future we actually want. I’m here to remind you that there is a bigger picture, zoom out my love, and breathe it in for a moment.
Because, it’s loud as hell out here and the constant distraction of input and unnecessary data scrambles the signal, and it’s not going away. Quite literally, the volume of electromagnetic waves of Wifi, radiation, free radicals and unseen nano toxins gunk up our systems and ability to function at anything close to our optimum levels. We have no idea what we are capable of and we tell ourselves we don’t have the time to find out.
This, in addition with society’s expectation for us to ‘keep up’ with current affairs and consume unsolicited advice through the media channels, means that there are nations of people barely even thinking for themselves any more - not us.
We are reclaiming that.
Within with this industrial and technology revolution, we are seeing disclosure of corruption in corporate systems. The kind of deep dark corruption that lives in the underworld, fuels the city and permeates the skies. We think that was just history or conspiracy - well we are seeing the beginning of the downfall.
The turning of the new age we have been waiting for, have we not?
As leaders, it is up to us to rebel again, support the disruption of the old patterns and lead the charge - metaphorically and physically. Always intentionally.
It is a scary and chaotic place to be - but if we do not take charge, our spirit is crushed and our lives become simply functional existence.
I’ve lived it and I see it every day.
The overactive genius mind spinning in decision fatigue because we are presented with so many options and opinions that we cannot hear ourselves, let alone achieve half of the things we dream of, and are capable of. The input is over riding the output, and we need to get a grip on it - and as my grandma said:
There is no such thing as ‘can’t’.
You say you want freedom.
Freedom requires focus.
And focus requires courage.
If they can build something extraordinary, so can you. But not while your attention is splintered across ten borrowed ambitions and twenty shiny new things. Fractured focus.
Choose.
It takes balls, I know. It doesn’t mean you’re leaping here, it’s simply having the courage to take just one step in one direction. Commit.
Have the courage of your convictions.
That is sovereignty. It’s what we are looking for.
This is a slice of Chapter 2 from my first book ‘If She Can I Can’, my book writing process as it unfolds. It’s uncomfortable, but I do it anyway because if I can, you can.
Find me at www.clarebelmont.net